No pictures, just words..
Help me.. I'm STUCK!!
Mula2 mintak maaf banyak2 sebab sepi betul blog ni akhir2 ni.. bukan takde gambar utk diletakkan... but i dont have the desire to do so.. untuk transfer gambar from the camera pun memakan masa juga.. eventhough the cable and kamera ada di depan mata.. alangkah best nyer if i had a wonderful excuse to do so.. which is pregnant.. huhuhu tapi bukan.. saya bukan pregnant pun.. but hormon mcm berubah je..huhuhu..
I've been thinking about this lately..nope.. let me say sejak 2 3 bulan ni.. I just missed my old good times.. but it doesnt means i hate what i have right now.. maybe it just a woman hormone.. selalu ada ups and down.. but now i'm totally depressed..
I've been thinking of quit my job and do photography as fulltime.. I like photography more than what i do in the office.. i'm doing accounts after being an engineer for about 4 years.. i study Comp Eng.. (for those who doesnt know) so.. boleh tak kira berapa byk bidang yang saya sudah masuk sekarang? i always being confuse with myself until i find a new hobby which is photograph my own son! and now i take photography seriously with passion and soul. Saya tahu saya masih belum layak digelar professional.. malah satu apa kursus photography pun saya tidak pernah pergi.. jauh sekali memahami sudut2 teknikal bidang ni.. but i believe minat yang mendalam and talent yang saya ada telah mengatasi semua itu.. Apa yang saya buat sekarang adalah lahir dari hati.. tetapi saya tau.. saya perlu lebih byk knowledge dlm bidang ini kalau tidak saya akan ketinggalan..
The thing is, how do i quit my job? I dont have enough confidence to do so.. But i always say to myself, rezeki ada di mana2.. Actually my job now is not that bad, my boss is ok with me.. she's very understanding.. infact she did partime job for herself ;-) our time is flexible, my collegues are very nice.. my work load is not so meranapkan kepala.. even sumtimes i have to face a 'kecut perut' when things are not right.. the salary ..i can say.. alhamdulillah.. eventhough i think out there for a position like me.. they can earn more.. but for me.. alhamdulillah rezeki saya..
I dont have enough confidence because of EPF, SOCSO and all the benefits this company offers me.. When i do photography, can i survive..??
What are the things that make me feel so depressed just thinking about this? My FAMILY.. I realized i spend less time with Irfan and my Husband.. That what i missed so much.. I'm not complaining about my life.. but i just want to share it with u out there and need opinion from u guys on what shud i do.. sumtimes i feel i cant handle it anymore.. I love to do everything for my family by myself.. Bila balik dari kerja.. i have to settle down everythings.. like cooking, menyapu and berkemas.. and when malamnya i have to switch on my laptop to finish my EOG's assignment.. At the 1st few months, i still feel ok and cope with it.. But, now i feel like i lost something that is more valuable.. My TIME with family.. it make me feel so sad just to think about it..
I like what i did.. but i'm not so happy.. I'm very thankful for the rezeki yang mencurah2 Allah bagi.. but I have to sacrifice.. I cant earn both.. so now i feel depress.. sad.. murung, moody rasa nak nangis.. I am a FAMILY type of woman.. byk kuiz2 kat internet tu saya buat.. jawapannya sama.. my priority is FAMILY.. so.. when things like this happen to me.. it really effect my jiwa and my life.. i missed the time to play with my son.. and i missed to berbaring baringan with hubby watching tv or dvd.. or just sit and relax next to him dan berborak2 kosong.. all of that i have to sacrifice.. I think.. when i do fulltime.. saya boleh dapatkan kembali waktu itu.. I dont want it to be too late..
I have discussed with my Husband about this.. Like always, he always support me no matter what my decision is.. dia juga ada memberikan pendapat2nya.. BUT now.. I am the only one who has to decide.. am i'm complaining about my life? no.. definitely no.. cuma sekarang saya betul2 berada dalam dilema.. Can i survive after this? I still couldnt get the answer..
Thanks for reading.. At least saya rasa lega..
13 comments:
Hi Zubye....kenapa ni???Sedey jer nury baca.Its good to share & luahkan ape yg zubye rasa.Sekurang-kurangnya hilang skit tension tu.
Yeahh sometimes we'll feel like this..biasala women kan.But at ur place nury just can give an advise if you think family is more important & you couldn't copeup with your work u better quit my dear.Its right that rezeki ada d mana2...klau kite lebih berminat dlm membuat sesuatu & puas hati dgn apa yg kite buat,just go ahead tak pyh tunggu lama2.Takpe...mende2 mcm ni kene discuss & fikir betul2 just take ur time kay my dear.
Take your time my sis... dont be gelojoh!! Semoga kejayaan akan menyebelahi akak watever ya' decision k... take care
Zubye ...alahai ..i can imagine macam mana u rasa sekarang . Mesti hormon tgh tak betul nih tak pun u terlalu penat ...rehat kan diri yer Zubye
keputusan yg u nak buat tuh mmg sukar . I know ur very n very talented photographer walaupun u tak attent mana mana kelas pun cam Siti la tak attend kelas vokal tapi sora superb so Zubye = Siti .
Take ur time n think about this . I know many photog yg quit kije tetap dia org ...some berjaya but some tak . But i wish u dalam golongan yg bakal berjaya koz i have faith in u .
Tapi kalau kije u pun ok ..part time u pun ok ..buley buat dua dua . Apa pun keputusan u I tetap sokong . Be strong ya Zubye
tak tau lak sampai macam ni kawan aku nie... cian dier.
As ur x'roomy, I concluded u loved ur job & hobbies. Boths gave u satisfaction sebenarnya... it just u missed ur families. May be need time-out & take it easy. Takleh ikut hati... pikir panjang2... unless no choice macam aku ni lain cite ler..
anyway bye... apa2 yg ko buat semua menjadi... good luck! Looking fwd for new baby... muahzzz
zubye, jgn sedey. masih ada masa utk fikir panjang. keyakinan akan datang kalau betul2 ada persiapan rapi, persediaan mental, fizikal dan juga dari segi pengiraan kewangan- sara hidup, modal perniagaan dsb. nak bisnes, kena prepare dgn satu plan strategi dan marketing yg baik..insyaAllah boleh. kalau belum ready, go on dulu dgn apa yg ada. kalau ada rezeki nanti tak ke mana kan. good luck fren. ;)
i think all mothers and career woman faced the same probs la dear... me included.
i love being a mother. its my best role. my family is the joy of my life, everything else is a bonus at this point. thus, i sacrificed my so-called dreams to be a rockstar. even my band has already recorded 6 songs for our first album, i have to make a very hard decision between is myself or my baby. one part of me is saying "reach for the stars, fulfill ur dreams, be what u long to be." but the other part of me is saying "look at ur son, he need u the most, spend quality time with him before its too late."
i never blamed my son for entering my life. he is my everything. our recording session was stopped due to my pregnancy. i have no stamina to keep rocking with fenriz in my womb. whilst everybody, i mean everybody, knows how i was madly in love with music. my obsession. i take myself as an example for u to realise that u r not alone dear... i was once hit with the same dilemma as urs.
my decision? i chose my son over everything else. i can keep rocking, yes, but only after he is older enuff to take care of himself. by that time i know i will be old and full of grey hair. too late huh? yes... regret? nope. absolutely not.
yes, u have to make ur own decision, dear. we can jot a comment down here. we can sympathize of ur dilemma, but, u have to really focus and ask urself what do u really want in life? just to make u happy and content... the answer is within u.
close ur eyes. take a really long deep breath. baca bismillah then, recite al-fatihah with eyes closed.
then open ur eyes. whatever comes first in ur mind, that is the decision u have to make. try...
insya Allah! *hugs*
Zubye, let me tell u the truth. Work on our own is THE BEST thing that everyone can imagine. Be prepared with more CHALLENGE. The biggest challenge is "ourself". Doing something that we LOVE to do is the best career in our life. because we dont have to work anymore...what we have to do...just ENJOY doing what we love to do.
Self employed made me BUSIER than a Prime Minister. Last time when I was working as a lecturer, i have ample of time to do what i want. But...I dont have a lot of money. Now, dah terbalik. Bila saya ada duit, saya kurang masa.
My advice...just do what u love to do. Follow your heart. The risk is still there. But u can overcome it. If you think that u want to quit your job, then call me...i'll share u a few effective steps to minimize the risk.
All the best!
as bro to u i will support wtever pn ur decision. RM is not main thing in life. Family more important. same goes to along famly will be priority no 1. Hobby pun leh wt RM kalau tau cara. keja makan gaji cukup bulan dapat duit will not means we will be happy tru out our life. if that is ur passion just go ahead and do wt u like. important thing u must be happy with wt u do. remember ur hubby blessing is a must. dun ever let him terdetik dlm hati rasa merungut bout u not having enough time for him. u can set time and day for ur photo session. then allocate at least two days a week spend time wit family. quality is better than quantity. ppl will cherish more on quality. as org yg amalkan islam y not u wt solat mtk petunjuk dari allah. allah is the best guide and mentor. ape saje keja yg di ilham kan dari allah lebih memberi berkat. rahmat allah akan melimpah ruah. so dun worry too much dun think too much. give ur best shot to wtever u do. the rest let allah yg tentukan. trust me, along pun penah go tru same predictment like urs. along tau u have the talent in photo. u need to take calculated risk my dear. prinsip along never try never know. if you think u will fail or u make a wrong decision dun worry tat's how life is. even rasul pun ada gak wt silap. ok la c me if you have further discussion. my door always open to all my bro n sis. after all u r my family.
Sab pernah hadapi situasi yg sama mcm Zubye. Hubby Sab pernah ada buat part time bisness dan income yg dapat pun mmg best. Tapi tak lama.. 3-4 bulan lepas tu Sab rasa lonely. Bila involve dalam dunia bisness, masa adalah sesuatu yg paling mudah kita terlupa. Masa bersama keluarga. Selalunya weekend kami mesti bersama.. outing memana.. tapi bila dia joint bisness ni dia selalu tak ada.. kadang-kadang malam pun tak ada. One day, Sab cakap terus terang dgn dia, Sab tak nak duit dia.. Sab cuma nak dia ada temankan Sab. Sab tak kisah tak hidup senang sebab Sab tahu bukan itu yang Sab nak. Sab cuma nak selalu dengan dia sebab Sab tak tahu berapa lama sangat Sab boleh abiskan masa dgn dia.. mana tahu antara kami pergi dulu.. sekurang-kurangnya Sab puas dan tak perlu menyesal apa-apa. Sab dah agak bila dia joint bisness tu masa untuk kami bersama akan berkurang dan Sab tak boleh terima. Alhamdulillah, hubby amat memahami dan dia cakap dia pun sebenarnya rasa bersalah tapi apa yang dia buat hanyalah dengan satu niat.. untuk buat Sab senang. So Sab cakap padanya.. Sab tak nak kesenangan tu, Sab cuma nak dia ada dengan Sab. Dan sekarang ni hubby tak ada buat bisness tu dah. :)
Tapi untuk kes Zubye Sab rasa Zubye tak perlu berhenti buat apa yang Zubye buat selama ni. Pada Sab, Zubye amat berbakat. Sab memang kagum sangat dengan kreativiti Zubye. Sab rasa apa yang perlu, mungkin Zubye patut susun jadual Zubye kembali dan biar lah keluarga berada disenarai teratas. Insyallah, semuanya pasti berjalan dengan lancar.. Doa Sab untuk Zubye!.
Zubye,
It is difficult bila nak buat decision mcm tu. Family or career? InsyaAllah duit boleh dicari, tapi masa dgn keluarga adalah amat berharga. Itu pendapat saya.
In my case, I'm a stay-at-home-mum (org kata 'housewife' la kan, tapi i call myself a domestic engineer cum manager :-D) even tho I have a Masters degree. Ada anak kecik, fully breastfeeding, and childcare problems, thus we decided it's best I dok rumah je lah. Gaji hubby boleh la menampung kami. Tak mewah, tapi boleh hidup. Alhamdulillah.
Tapi mcm dah sampai masa for me to start working again. Like u, I have a decision to make. Living costs dah makin mahal. We need a second income. Tapi si kecik ni tak nak botol. And after taking care of her dari dulu, whom do I trust to help take care of her while I work? I'll be spending less time with her. Nak cari kerja yg bleh dibuat dari rumah, tapi x jumpa lagi. Bnyk tul benda nak kena consider...
Just sharing my stuation with u. To let u know, u're not alone. Take care. :)
Hi kak zubye..
I seldom visit ur page but when I do, it always makes me feel happy..Its feels so good looking at pictures of all those adorable kids and wishing that some day, I'll have one of my own..InsyaAllah..
Life is always better if we get to do something we are passionate about..Something that would give us a sense of satisfaction..Something that when done, would leave us with no sense of regret..
When we have to decide whats best for us after all the discussion and thought given, in the end, the best thing to do to make a decision is minta petunjuk from Allah swt..He will always guide u to do the best thing in your life..N I'm sure, any path u take by following His guidance will always be a blessed life..
Ur good at what u do..Have faith in urself..When there's a will, there will always be a way..I'll support u always...
Love u kak zubye..take care!!
hi zubye
i am so blessed, two of my favourite photogs have graced our lives in wondrous ways. we already have yours and saiful's pics of adriana lining our walls and mantlepiece. go on doing what you are destined to do best. capturing the essence of innocence. well done!
K.Zubye,
Jgn hilang semangat camnie...
You've inspired me a lot!
Bg Atie, K.Zubye amik masa rehat sekejap....
Adopt work-life balance. When dah overworked, rehat jap...
Making decision at this moment would not benefit you much.
Currently, you're just too tired of everything.
It is never too late, just plan & prioritize when you're ready.
Luv loths!
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